Whosoever wounds another by offensive language, by wishing her evil, or reproaching her with her faults, should be mindful to make satisfaction as soon as possible; and she who was injured must pardon without many words.
They do a serious wrong who offend others by injurious language. St Paul says of them : ” Railers shall not possess the Kingdom of Heaven” (i Cor. vi. 10). And our Lord says in the Gospel : ” Whosoever shall say, thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire” (Matt. v. 22). As, then, they offend seriously, they ought to make their repentance earnestly, with all their heart, and in deep humility they should ask pardon of the person that has been injured.
And she who was injured must pardon without many words.
” That one who takes a long time to effect a reconciliation with his neighbour,” says St Isidore, ” also takes a long time to appease God in his own regard.” Vainly do we seek the friendship and
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favour of God, if we put off reconciliation with our neighbour. Now there are some that rely much upon their own merits and are slow to forgive those that have injured them. But it signifies little that they have not other sins on their conscience if they are not ready to grant forgiveness, for it is of itself a great fault to be slow in making reconciliation. We learn on the authority of Divine Truth itself that the servant who owed the ten thousand talents had the whole debt remitted when he gave expression to his sorrow. But when he refused to condone his fellow-servant that owed a hundred pence, he was forced to pay even what had been remitted.
In this example we see that if we do not forgive from our hearts the offences we suffer, there will be demanded of us too an account of those debts which we rejoice to think have been forgiven.
But if both have offended they must forgive each other. The reason of this is that you may be duly disposed for prayer, which, the more frequent it is, the more holy it should be.
We say daily to God : — ” Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us.” Now if we do not forgive them that trespass against us, we condemn ourselves by the very words of that prayer. We do our utmost to excite the displeasure of God against ourselves ; we draw down upon ourselves a curse rather than a blessing. In this way the prayer that should be a source of healing brings us harm, and the sins
that our prayer should lessen, are rather augmented. The earnest prayers of faithful souls are efficacious in satisfying for the daily faults and imperfections from which our life can hardly be free. For these faithful ones have the right to say : “Our Father who art in Heaven,” because by the second birth of water and the Holy Spirit they are truly the children of their heavenly Father.
Such a prayer, then, quite effaces the small defects of every - day occurrence. It likewise effaces the remains of those greater sins committed in the past, and from which the life of the faithful has been freed by repentance.
But as to obtain these favours we say with earnest meaning — ” forgive us our trespasses ” (of which there must always be some to be forgiven), so with equal intent should we say : ” as we forgive them that trespass against us.” Let our actions, then, correspond with our words. Let us forgive them that come to ask our pardon and the act will stand to our credit as the bestowal of an alms. There are various kinds of alms-deeds that contribute to obtain the remission of our sins ; but none is of greater efficacy than that by which we bestow from our hearts the forgiveness of the injuries done to us. It is not great generosity to be well disposed and kind towards those who have done us no wrong ; but it is a mark of great virtue and magnanimity to love our enemy and to wish well to them that would do us wrong. We shall act thus if we listen to Jesus Himself saying to
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us : ” Love your enemies, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that persecute you ” (Matt. v. 44).
This high degree of charity belongs to the perfect children of God, whereunto every faithful disciple of our Lord must tend, training the soul to this state by prayer and interior selfdiscipline. Nevertheless, this great exercise of love is not found in the majority of Christians. But still believing that we shall be heard when we say : ” Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us,” we shall without doubt receive the promised answer, provided that we who are not yet so advanced in virtue as to love our enemies will yet heartily forgive any one who has injured us and asks our pardon. For we ourselves expect forgiveness when we say : ” Forgive us, as we forgive them that trespass against us ” — that is, so forgive us that seek pardon from Thee, as we forgive them that ask it of us. And indeed if we consider the matter, he that asks pardon of the person he has offended, is no longer to be considered an enemy whom it is difficult to love, as he was when actually inflicting the injury. On the other hand, the person who is not willing to forgive a neighbour pleading for pardon and truly regretting his evil deed, must not consider that his own misdeeds are forgiven by God. Divine Truth does not contradict itself, and it says : ” If you will forgive men their offences, your heavenly Father will forgive you
your offences. But if you will not forgive men, neither will your Father forgive you your offences ” (Matt. vi. 14, 15).
But one who is often tempted to anger, and as speedily asks pardon of the one she acknowledges she has injured, is better than one not so soon moved to anger, and yet less inclined to ask pardon. She that will not forgive her sister, must not hope to obtain of God what she asks in her prayers.
Some are easily aroused to angry feelings and easily regain their calmness ; others are moved more slowly, but remain longer under the influence of the passion. Others, again, are in the worse condition of being easily stirred to anger and of being slow to overcome it. On the other hand, we find some that quickly resent, but just as quickly conquer all ill-natured feelings.
In these different classes it is clearly understood that the last approach more closely to the state of perfect tranquillity of mind, and that those of the third class surpass in evil those indicated in the second.
Let us, then, ponder how serious a fault is this anger whereby, losing our peace of mind, we spoil the image of heavenly peace within us. Through anger justice is lost, as it is written : ” The anger of man worketh not the justice of God ” (James i. 20). Besides, this anger deprives us of the advantages of our community life, as it is said : ” Be not a friend to an angry
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man… . Lest perhaps thou learn his ways, and taste scandal to thy soul ” (Prov. xxii. 24, 25). For one that cannot govern self by reason must expect to be left alone as are creatures that have no reason. It may not be that one go so far in passion as to raise the hand to strike; but oftener it will happen that the victim of anger will cast darts of evil speech. Or again, when the soul is aroused by this vice, it will disdain to hold even ordinary conversation with the neighbour, and as time goes on there will be a complete separation. Then more violent attacks will come, ordinary causes of offence will exasperate to a greater degree, the distorting sight of the angered person will turn the mote into a beam, and anger then settles into positive hatred.
If we get to this state we are always fearful of being looked down upon by others ; we will not deign to put up with the slightest word against us, and if there should have been any difference between us, we are ashamed to be the first to offer satisfaction.
So the unmodified spirit, wishing to excel in this life, rejects humility ; it often wishes within itself for reconciliation, but has not the courage to be the first to go and seek it.
Let us then reflect on what Jesus Christ, our Lord, has done to show us the pitifulness of such an evil disposition. Between us and God we had caused a breach by our sins — and God was
the first to apply the remedy. He sends to us His ambassadors to call us, the offenders, back to peace. Let us blush, then, for our pride, and let it cause us shame to think we are unwilling to make amends to our neighbour, seeing that God Himself, whom we offended, has come forward in the person of His messengers to ask us to be reconciled to Him.
If there is any one who will never ask pardon, or does not ask it from her heart, though she is not put out of the convent, yet her religious life is useless.
Our Lord has so great a concern about our reconciliation that He suffers His gifts to be left before the altar, and service due to Him left unperformed, so that you may first go and remove the cause of dissension and break off the enmity that exists between you and your neighbour.
Notwithstanding, we feel no shame for our uncharitableness, we suffer it to continue day after day, and we keep up an uninterrupted state of discord.
It should be borne in mind that God punishes not only those that give way to anger and deeds of malice, but also those that cause anger in others, and then neglect and disdain to make peace. For they that are troubled and suffer wrongs must necessarily be pained and feel some impulse to anger. But they that have inflicted the injury, feel nothing of the trouble or the wrong themselves. Wherefore Almighty God would have the
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person who is free from any influence of passion make the first advance to the neighbour who is in sorrow, and therefore is not altogether free in mind, thereby showing that the real evil of the sin lies rather to the charge of the one who has been the cause of it. But we are sometimes slow to amend in this manner. For very trifling reasons we continue to sadden our sisters, and as though we had done no wrong we give no thought to the satisfaction we ought to make. We forget our fault, and thus remain in the same habitual state for a long period. We give no heed to the fact that our punishment will be the greater as the discord is of longer duration. As long as friendship lasts, nothing that can bring about ill-feeling is easily listened to or believed. But when once enmities creep in, almost all that is done or said or heard tend to make the spirit of dissension more intense and lasting. In this frame of mind one can see every little wrong only in its worst aspect, and as a result each trivial offence intensifies the bitter feeling. Wherefore our Lord bids us leave our gift before the altar and go first to be reconciled with our neighbour, to teach us that if we may not put off or dissemble reconciliation at the moment when we are about to enter upon divine worship, with far more reason must we fulfil our duty in this respect without delay on all other occasions. If perchance we give way to anger, the command is that we put an end to our anger or dissension before the close of day.
These are the words by which we are urged : ” Let not the sun go down upon your anger ” (Eph. iv. 26).
Contrary to all this, we not only allow our animosity to last beyond the day, but we often seek to entrap one another, to supplant our neighbour by word or deed ; we tear and devour one another in a kind of insanity. There is indeed in this a likeness to the madman or the one possessed by the evil spirit, who with their teeth rend and tear their own limbs.
To no purpose, then, does any one live in a monastery in a state of bitterness against others, since such a religious neither gives pleasure to God by her sacrifices nor makes any progress in virtue.
” Beware, therefore, of hard words.”
Solomon says on this matter : ” A mild answer breaketh wrath : but a harsh word stirreth up fury” (Prov. xv. 1). And again it is written : “A sweet word multiplieth friends and appeaseth enemies” (Eccles. vi. 5). St Paul also writes to the Galatians : ” You, who are spiritual, instruct such a one in the spirit of meekness” (Gal. vi. 1).
These, therefore, that aspire to sanctity must beware of hard words.
Yet, should they chance to escape one’s mouth, let the tongue that has caused the wound apply the cure.
Before all things let us give our greatest attention
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to refraining from annoying any one by harsh speech. And if, on any occasion, we fail in this respect through weakness, it behoves us to offer satisfaction immediately, and as an antidote to our unkind words, express our regret in a manner kind and soothing. So shall the balm of humble acknowledgment heal the wound of ill - feeling. But, as we have said already, it is far better to be guarded against such a failing beforehand than to atone for it when it is committed. For this reason the religious should set a guard upon her mouth that she may not sin by the tongue — especially when the “sinner rises against her ” — that is to say, when any one causes her pain by calumny or insult. For there will ever be found some that are envious and overbearing, to exercise the virtue of the servants of God.
Wherefore as it is written in Ecclesiasticus ; ” If thou have understanding, answer thy neighbour ; but if not let thy hand be upon thy mouth lest thou be surprised in an unskilful word and be confounded ” (Eccles. v. 14).
But if you who, being superiors, are obliged to keep up religious observance should use hard words in your correction, though you should perceive that you had exceeded due bounds therein, it is not required that you ask pardon of your subjects, lest by having too great a regard for humility, you should weaken your authority in governing those who ought to be subject to you.
It happens at times to the best of superiors that whilst they are full of zeal in correcting an evil that demands their attention, they overstep the bounds of moderation and allow the tongue to utter words that are not in keeping with the charity that should be in the heart. In such cases we may apply the divine precept given through Moses : ” If some one have gone with a neighbour to the wood to hew wood, and in cutting down the tree the axe slipped out of his hand, and the iron, slipping from the handle, struck his friend and killed him : he shall flee to one of the cities aforesaid and live :’ lest perhaps the next kinsman of him whose blood was shed, pushed on by his grief, should pursue and apprehend him, and take away the life of him, who is not guilty of death ” (Deut xix. 5, 6).
We may take the words in this sense : We go with our neighbour into the wood when we come to look into our many faults, and we hew down the timber when we set to work with good intentions to remove the evils that we discover. But the axe flies from the hand when the reproof degenerates into bitter invective ; the iron slips from the handle when harsh words are added to the correction ; and these strike and even slay the neighbour, because the rude and rough treatment repels her from the bond of charity. If a sister be reprimanded in this hasty manner, her disposition is in danger of being turned into hatred.
Then she who inadvertently wounds her
neighbour (as, in the above passage, the woodman does when striking the tree), must flee to the city of refuge and dwell there in security. Being moved to the sighs and tears of penance, she must take refuge in faith, hope, and charity, united in this Sacrament. Then she will not be held guilty of the evil committed, and the kinsman of the injured one will not seek revenge of her. Because the just Judge, who has become related to all of us by the assumption of our nature, does not certainly require atonement for a fault that through faith, hope, and charity, has already come under His forgiveness.
Wherefore the rule continues : —
But, nevertheless, you must ask pardon of God, who knows how well you love those very persons whom you have corrected perchance more severely than was reasonable.
It happens that the bounds of forbearance are exceeded sometimes through a strong feeling of malice and sometimes through true zeal for justice. Sometimes it occurs of set purpose by deliberate speech ; at others, by mere thoughtless excess of words. But our Lord in all these cases regards rather the intention than the actual utterance. And therefore there is ready forgiveness at hand for the offence that has occurred without any malicious design.
There must not be any sensual love among you, all must be spiritual.
Many love their neighbours because they are united by the ties of relationship. And Holy Writ does not condemn this affection. But we must observe that the charity that proceeds from the mere promptings of nature is far different from that which is required of us by obedience to the divine precepts.
Those that have natural affection love their neighbour indeed, but do not thereby attain the sublime rewards promised to charity, for their love rises from a natural instead of a spiritual source. It is the maintenance of charity under all conditions that alone proves us to be the real disciples of our all-powerful Lord.
So that He Himself says : ” By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another” (John xiii. 35).
If this virtue truly fills our heart it will show itself forth in two ways : we shall love our friends in God and our enemies for God’s sake.
We may easily and often deceive our judgment with a semblance of love towards our enemy and suppose quite falsely that we bear him real charity. We may know whether we truly preserve charity towards our enemy by this test — if we are never saddened by his success nor elated over his misfortune.
Charity begins with two precepts, but it branches off into numerous obligations.
The love of God and the neighbour is the twofold root of the command, and at once we
distinguish the love of God under three headings : for with the whole heart, with the whole soul, and with all our strength must our Maker be loved.
Here we should take notice that the Divine Word does not only prescribe that we must love God, but defines the degree to which charity must rise.
” With all our strength ” — that is to say, if we desire to please God perfectly we must keep back nothing of ourselves from our offering of love. Again, the love of our neighbour contains two great precepts which we find written in different places : ” See thou never do to another what thou wouldst hate to have done to thee by another” (Tobias iv. 16). And our Lord’s own words are: “All things whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do you also to them” (Matt. vii. 12).
Of these two precepts taken from the Old and New Testament, the one shuts out all animosity, and the other bids us cultivate all gentleness. Thus we refrain from any injury to our neighbour by considering what we should be unwilling to bear ourselves: and, on the other hand, the benefits that we might naturally look for, we perform out of kindness, to our neighbour’s advantage. Then whilst this twofold object is sedulously kept in view, the heart necessarily inclines to the practice of innumerable other acts of virtue. It is hindered from working itself into a state of anxiety with the desires of inflicting pain upon others: it is aroused from a state of idle torpor to proffer to others what good services it may be capable of.
When we use this vigilance not to inflict upon others what we would not bear patiently from them, we shall also look carefully into ourselves to prevent pride from elating us. For if pride exalt us in this way, it may afterwards make us fall by causing us to despise others. Again, we shall have a guard over ourselves, lest ambitious thoughts lead us to overreach our neighbour, and we shall restrain every desire to be possessed of what belongs to another.
We shall be careful that we always remain pure and free from all unlawful pleasure, even in desire. We shall be careful not to let anger rise within us or cause us to utter a single painful word. We shall be on our guard against feelings of envy or jealousy of our neighbour’s happiness. We shall curb the inordinate love of talking that we be not led on to unjust criticisms of others ; and finally, we shall give no place to that ill-feeling that easily leads to hatred, nor allow ourselves to give expression to offensive words against our sisters.
On the other hand, if we are intent upon performing towards others the good offices we expect from them, we shall seize every occasion to practise such virtues as the following : — to return good for evil ; to reward kind deeds with greater deeds of kindness ; to show meekness and forbearance to the troublesome ; to exercise gentleness to those that are suffering under feelings of ill-will themselves ; to try to establish peace amongst those that are in discord ; to
animate the peaceable to maintain true peace ; to provide what is lacking to the needy ; to point out the right way to the wandering ; to soothe the afflicted by words of sympathy ; to calm those that harbour any evil intentions ; to soften by gentle reasoning the threats of those in power ; to lighten the anguish of the oppressed as far as is possible ; to show patience to such as oppose us abroad ; to practise humility and patience combined towards those that are troublesome, through their pride, at home ; to show towards subjects such a spirit of zeal and meekness that there may never be any lack of fairness in our dealings ; to desire the amendment of all faults, in such a degree as not to overstep the limits of piety by false zeal ; to attract the ungrateful to a spirit of love by special attentions ; to pass over in silence those faults that cannot be remedied ; to have a care that silence be not construed into consent in the case of irregularities that cannot be corrected ; so to tolerate those faults that may not be remedied as not to hide the regret that these evils should occasion in us ; to show kindness to the badly disposed, but Only in such a manner as not to encourage their abandonment of the way of virtue; to spend ourselves in the service of our neighbour without becoming vain and causing our own fall, and without at the same time lessening our good services for fear of vanity ; to be ready to bestow whatever we have with the thought of the generosity of Him who is hereafter to reward us ; to
forget our own need when we deprive ourselves of material things for others ; to banish from our thoughts the sadness that tarnishes the brightness of chanty if such self-denial seem hard to us.
Since all these virtues flow from the possession of charity, this law of God may well be said to contain many others within it. If once this virtue alone take full possession of the soul, it exercises its manifold effects in all these various good works. So this far-reaching Law of God adapts itself to every kind of circumstance. It is ever the same virtue itself and produces constant effects of virtue in the ever-changing conditions of human life.
This many-sided character of charity is well described by St Paul where he says : ” Charity is patient, is kind : charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely, is not puffed up, is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil, rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth with the truth,” etc. (i Cor. xiii. 4 seq.).
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