CHAPTER VIII.
Self-examination urged, 1. From the possibility of arriving at a certainty; 2. From the hindrances which will be thrown in our way by Satan, sinners, our own hearts, and many other causes; 3. From considering how easy, common and dangerous it is to be mistaken; that trying will not be so painful as the neglect; that God will soon try us, and that to try ourselves will be profitable. 4. Directions how to try ourselves. 5. Marks for trial, particularly, Do we make God our chief good? Do we heartily accept of Christ for our Lord and Savior?
Is there such a glorious rest so near at hand and shall none enjoy it but the people of God? What mean most of the world, then, to live so contentedly without assurance of their interest in this rest, and neglect the trying of their title to it? When the Lord has so fully opened the blessedness of that kingdom which none but obedient believers shall possess; and so fully expressed those torments which the rest of the world must eternally suffer; methinks they that believe this to be certainly true, should never be at any quiet in themselves, till they are fully assured of their being heirs of the kingdom. Lord, what a strange madness is this, that men, who know they must presently enter upon unchangeable joy or pain, should yet live as uncertain what shall be their doom as if they had never heard of any such state; yea, and live as quietly and merrily in this uncertainty as if all were made sure, and there were no danger! Are these men alive, or dead? Are they awake, or asleep? What do they think on? Where are their hearts? If they have but a weighty suit at law, how careful are they to know whether it will go for or against them! If they were to be tried for their lives at an earthly bar, how careful would they be to know whether they should he saved or condemned, especially if their care might surely save them! If they be dangerously sick they will inquire of the physician, “What think you, sir; shall I escape, or not?” But in the business of their salvation they are content to be uncertain.
If you ask of most men “a reason of the hope that is in them,” they will say, “Because God is merciful, and Christ died for sinners,” and the like general reasons, which any man in the world may give as well as they, but put them to prove their interest in Christ and in the saving mercy of God, and they can say nothing to the purpose. If God or man should say to one of them, “Friend, what is the state of thy soul? Is it regenerate, sanctified and pardoned, or not?” He would say, as Cain of Abel, “I know not; am I my soul’s keeper? I hope well; I trust God with my soul; I shall speed as well as other men do; I thank God I never made any doubt of my salvation.” Thou hast cause to doubt, because thou didst never doubt; and yet more, because thou hast been so careless in thy confidence. What do thy expressions discover but a wilful neglect of thy own salvation? as a ship-master that should let his vessel alone, and say, “I will venture it among the rocks, and waves, and winds; I will trust God with it; it will speed as well as other vessels.” What horrible abuse of God is this, to pretend to trust God, to cloak their own wilful negligence! If thou didst really trust God, thou wouldst also be ruled by him, and trust him in his own appointed way. He requires thee to give “diligence to make thy calling and election sure,” and so trust him. He hath marked out a way in scripture by which thou art charged to search and try thyself, and mayest arrive at certainty. Were he not a foolish traveller that would hold on his way when he does not know whether he be right or wrong; and say, “I hope I am right; I will go on, and trust in God?” Art thou not guilty of this folly in thy travel to eternity? not considering that a little serious inquiry whether thy way be right, might save thee a great deal of labor, which thou bestowest in vain, and must undo again, or else thou wilt miss of salvation and undo thyself.
How canst thou think or speak of the great God without terror, as long as thou art uncertain whether he be thy father or thy enemy, and knowest not but all his perfections may be employed against thee? or of Jesus Christ, when thou knowest not whether his blood hath purged thy soul; whether he will condemn or acquit thee in judgment; or whether he be the foundation of thy happiness, or stone of stumbling to break thee and grind thee to powder? How canst thou open the Bible and read a chapter, but it should terrify thee? Methinks every leaf should be to thee as Belshazzar’s writing on the wall, except only that which draws thee to try and reform. If thou readest the promises, thou knowest not whether they shall be fulfilled to thee. If thou readest the threatenings, for any thing thou knowest, thou readest thy own sentence. No wonder thou art an enemy to plain preaching, and sayest of the minister, as Ahab of the prophet, “I hate him, for he doth not prophesy good concerning me, but evil.” How canst thou without terror join in prayer? When thou receivest the Lord’s supper, thou knowest not whether it be thy bane or bliss. What comfort canst thou find in thy friends, and honors, and houses, and lands, till thou knowest thou hast the love of God with them, and shalt have rest with him when thou leavest them? Offer a prisoner, before he knows his sentence, either music, or clothes, or preferment; what are they to him, till he knows he shall escape with his life? for if he knows he must die the next day, it will be small comfort to die rich or honorable. Methinks it should be so with thee till thou knowest thy eternal state. When thou liest down to take thy rest, methinks the uncertainty of thy salvation should keep thee waking, or amaze thee in thy dreams and trouble thy sleep. Doth it not grieve thee to see the people of God so comfortable in their way to glory, when thou hast no good hope of ever enjoying it thyself? How canst thou think of thy dying hour? Thou knowest it is near, and there is no avoiding it, nor any remedy found out that can prevent it. If thou shouldst die this day, (and who knows “what a day may bring forth?”) thou art not certain whether thou shalt go to heaven or hell. And canst thou be merry till thou hast escaped from this dangerous state? What shift dost thou make to preserve thy heart from horror, when thou rememberest the great judgment-day, and everlasting flames? When thou hearest of it dost thou not tremble as Felix? If the “keepers shook, and became as dead men, when they saw the angel come and roll back the stone from Christ’s sepulchre,” how canst thou think of living in hell with devils, till thou hast some well-grounded assurance that thou shalt escape it? Thy bed is very soft, or thy heart is very hard, if thou canst sleep soundly in this uncertain case.