The chief scope of the Text may be summed up in this Observation.

That every mans present and future well-fare, doth very much depend upon the right choice and improvement of those friends or companions with whom he doth most familiarly converse.

If with such as are good, he shall be wise and happy; if with wicked persons he shall prove foolish for the present, and miserable for the future.

So that the subject I am to treat of is very proper and sutable to this Place, which being chiefly intended for education, unto which the company and friends that men make choice of doth so much contribute; therefore it can never be unseasonable here to put them in remembrance, or to stir them up to their duties in this respect.

For the clearing of this Observation, it may be made very evident from diverse Scriptures.

Upon this account it is, that we have such frequent cautions and threats against conversing with bad company. This was the meaning of all those severe prohibitions in the ceremonial Law, against touching of any unclean thing; which in the morality of it (say the Antient Fathers and other Interpreters) doth signifie that exact care which we ought to have against all such company whereby we may contract any inward pollutions.

‘Tis observable, that he who touched a dead beast was unclean but till the evening, Levit. 11.24. But he who touched a dead man was unclean for seven days, Numb. 19.11. signifying a bad man to be the most dangerous of all other Creatures. For that this in scripture-phrase is meant by a dead man, may be sufficiently explained by that expression of the Apostle where he styles wicked men to be such as are dead in trespasses and sins, Ephes. 2.1. even whilst they live, 1 Tim. 5.6. And elsewhere they are said to be whited sepulchers, which may appear beautiful outwardly, but within are full of dead mens bones and all uncleanness, Matth. 23.27.

That’s a very sharp and elegant reprehension which the Prophet uses towards Iehosaphat, in reference to his association with Ahab, 2 Cron. 19.2. Should’st thou love them that hate the Lord? He puts it by way of question, to shew the inexcusable inconsistency of those mens actions who pretend to love God and yet will be friends to those that hate him.

Prov. 22.24. Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man thou shalt not go, least thou learn his ways. And because some might be apt to think that they could converse with bad men without any such danger, therefore ‘tis further added, lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul. Implying, that though a man be very wary to avoid the corruption of bad company yet it may insensibly steal upon him and surprize him as a snare.

There are divers the like Precepts in the New Testament, 2 Tim. 3. The Apostle having recited a long Catalogue of vitious persons, despisers of those that are good, heady, highminded, having a form, &c. adds this clause at the end of it, from such turn away; that is, avoid as much as may be all converse with them. And there is a solemn adjuration, 2 Thes. 3.6. Now we command you Brethren, in the name of our Lord Iesus Christ, that you will draw your selves from every brother that walketh disorderly. That place doth not so properly signifie exclusion à sacris, but from familiar converse.

Psal. 15.4. ‘Tis set down as a special mark and evidence of such as shall be saved, in whose eyes a vile person is contemned, but he honoureth them that fear the Lord.

And holy David is very frequent in the proof of his integrity, and consequently of his happy condition from this sign, by his dislike of wicked company, and his love to those that are good.

Psal. 26.4, 5. I have not sate with vain persons, neither will I go in with dissemblers. I have hated the congregation of evil doers, and will not sit with the wicked, Psal. 101.4. I will not know a wicked person, ver. 5. Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour will I cut off; him that hath a high look and proud heart will I not suffer, Psal. 139.21. Do not I hate them O Lord that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? I hate them with a perfect hatred and count them mine enemies. Psal. 120.5. He bemoans his unhappiness that he was forced to dwell in Meshec, and to have his habitation in the tents of Kedar, that is, amongst such ungodly and cruel men as those of that Country.

And so on the other side, he professes that his delight was in the saints and to the excellent of the earth, Psal. 16.3. Mine eye shall be upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me, Psal. 101.6. I am a companion for all those that fear thee and keep thy precepts, Psal. 119.63. It were easy to cite abundance of other Scriptures to this purpose.

And there is very good reason, why the nature of a mans friends or company should be looked upon as of such great consequence to his well-being: Because they have such a special influence, not only upon a mans temper and manners, but upon all his chief concernments.

There are four things wherein most men place their well-fare, some or all of which every rational man doth propose to himself in the choice of his friends. These are reputation, safety, comfort, profit. Now each of these is only attainable by conversing with those that are good.

1. For reputation or honour: Wicked men are fools in the phrase of the Text; and what credit can a wise man expect by conversing with fools? They are styled beasts in Scripture, dogs and swine and vipers; And ‘tis the lowest most ignoble condition that our humane natures can be deprest to with Nebuchadnezzar to converse with beasts.² Iob doth make it his great grief and complaint, I am a brother to dragons and a companion to estriches, Iob 30.29. They are dead men in the Scripture phrase,³ and what should the living do amongst the dead: They are whited sepulchers that are full of rottenness, and none but a mad man,⁴ one that is possest with a Devil, will live among tombs.

On the other side, good men are the excellent of the earth:⁵ Such alone are truly noble and magnanimous, though not in outward respects, yet in regard of intrinsecal value, which can only put a true worth upon a man: So the righteous is always more excellent than his neighbour. Iob upon the dunghill, and Ieremiah in the mire, had more real worth in them, than any of the greatest men of the world in the midst of all their pomp and glory. The Saints of old when in their most despicable condition, wandring about in sheep-skins and goat-skins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented, were in themselves of so noble and inestimable a value that, in the judgment of the holy Ghost, the world was not worthy of them. These are they that have the highest relations, they are the children of God, heirs of a kingdom, the spouse, the members of Christ: And therefore who ever would propose to himself honour and reputation in his society, must make choice only of such companions.

2. For safety; The Text tells us that a companion of fools shall be destroyed. Good men may be sometimes involved in the punishments of bad company, and perish in their sins: Rev. 18.4. Come out of her my people, least you receive of her plagues. That’s a known story of St. Iohn, who durst not stay in the same Bath where Cerinthus the Heretick was for fear he might be surprized with some sudden judgment. Wicked men are infected leprous persons; and who can converse with such without danger. If any one shall persuade himself that he can enjoy their company and yet escape their contagion, he may as well think to suspend the natural operation of fire; Can any one think to take coals in his bosom and not be burned? Or can a man walk barefoot upon burning coals and yet not hurt himself? Prov. 6.28. The conversing with bad company hath as unavoidable and powerful an efficacy as these natural agents which work necessarily, whose operations cannot be suspended: Or if any should possibly so far escape as not to be burnt with the fire of bad company, yet he must needs be blacked with their smoak, which every prudent Christian will be careful to avoid.

Whereas on the other side every one fares the better for the company of those that are good. They are the lights of the world, the salt of the earth, the pillars of a nation, those that stand in the gap to prevent an inundation of judgment. The place is the safer for them where they live. Ten righteous persons may sometimes be enough to save a whole City from temporal ruine. Potiphar’s house was blessed for Iosephs sake, Gen. 39.5. and all the passengers in the ship were saved from drowning for St. Paul’s sake, Acts 27.24. And if their cohabitation or common neighbourhood may be so advantageous, what is it then to be leagued unto them by a nearer and more intimate tye of friendship.

3. For comfort: This is one of the principal ends of friendship, to ease and refresh a man amidst the anxieties of life; and there is nothing of greater efficacy to this purpose.⁶ How pleasant is it for brethren to live together in unity:⁷ Quantum bonum est ubi sunt praeparata pectora, in quae tutò secretum omne descendat, quorum sermo solicitudines leniat, sententia consilium expediat, hilaritas tristitiam dissipet, conspectus ipse delectet? What a great comfort and privilege is it to have another self to whom a man may freely communicate all his secret troubles; whose conference may help to asswage our cares, whose counsel to expedite our difficulties, whose cheerfulness to dissipate our sadness, whose very look and presenee doth delight? As Oyntment and perfumes rejoyce the heart, so doth the sweetness of a mans friend, Prov. 27.9.

But now this cannot be expected from any wicked person. There is such an utter inconsistency and opposition betwixt good and bad, that there cannot be any communion or harmony betwixt them: For what communion hath light with darkness, 2 Cor. 6.14. Speaking of those who are unequally yoaked; An unjust man is an abomination to the just, and he that is upright in the way is an abomination to the wicked, Prov. 29.27: There is a natural enmity betwixt them, being of opposite principles and ways.

How is it possible for a man that hath any love or zeal for God to delight in those by whom He is continually dishonoured and provoked? Instead of any refreshment by such company (if a man have David’s temper) it will still administer new occasion of trouble and sorrow. I beheld the transgressors and was grieved.⁸ Rivers of waters run down mine eyes, because men keep not thy laws. No man can delight in those that despise and reproach him. Why now a holy man looks upon all rebellions against God, as being indignities against himself, Psal. 69.9. The reproaches of them that reproached thee, are fallen upon me.

Whereas on the other side: Those that are wise in the phrase of the Text are the most delightful company that are. Wisdom makes a mans face to shine, puts a splendor and amiableness upon a person: And for this reason, the communion of saints is to be esteemed, one of the greatest comforts and privileges that we are capable of in this world. ‘Tis a kind of excommunication to be debarred of such company; and it shall be a great part of our joy and happiness in heaven that we shall there converse with the spirits of just men made perfect.

4. And lastly, for Profit: The most usual reason of mens friendship in the world, is the hopes they have of getting by one another: though this in it self is mercenary and poor, arva enim & pecudes isto modo diliguntur, Men love their cattel and their land upon this account, they should love their friends from an higher principle. But yet, if any should look for this, ‘tis not to be had from those that are bad: There is nothing to be expected from such friends, but the increase of our sins and of our punishments:⁹ The best of them is a briar and a thorn, which may pull off our fleece, deprive us of our defence and our innocence; take from us what we have, but can contribute nothing: Or if we should get some outward advantage by them, yet we shall get partnership in their guilt, by that approbation which we seem to give to them in our conversing with them. We may harden them in their impenitency, blemish our profession; and what outward gain can be sufficient compensation for such damages?

Whereas in conversing with those that are good, there are these advantages. 1. Their example will by degrees insinuate into the mind, and obtain the force of precepts, exciting us to a holy emulation. 2. Their very presence will affect us with some kind of awe against evil.¹⁰ Est aliquid quod ex magno viro vel tacente proficias. 3. Their conference, wholesome and savory, administring grace to the hearers. 4. Their counsel, faithful and wise and hearty.

5. Their prayers, powerful, ready: And ‘tis not easily imaginable, what an advantage that is, to have a praying friend, or companion. We esteem it a great privilege to have a friend at Court, who is able to further us in our business and petitions, to have any special interest in a favorite; why, every good man hath power with God, and can prevail with him.

But I have stayed too long in the Doctrinal parts of this Discourse.

There are three lessons I would briefly insist upon in the Application of it.

1. That we would take notice of the great benefit to be obtained by the right improvement of society and mutual converse with one another.

2. That we of this place would be careful, both for our selves and those committed to our charge, in the right choice of our friends and company.

3. That we would labour for those proper qualifications and abilities which may render us acceptable and useful in our conversing with others.

4. For the first, that we would take notice of the great benefit to be obtain’d by Society. One chief reason why in these Places men do not make so great a progress either in piety or learning as might be expected from those special advantages which here we enjoy, is because they are not so careful to improve the benefit to be had by society. Nothing more usual amongst men of all ranks and conditions, than to joyn together in some common design for the improvement of this quality of sociableness unto mutual benefit. This is the chief ground of all those common Associations amongst men: In ordinary affairs, Corporations for Cities, Companies for Trades; and so in higher matters, Universities and Colleges for Learning, particular Churches for Religion: Each of which in their kinds have in them a natural aptitude to afford some special help for the promoting of their several ends, though perhaps none of them, especially not the two last, are usually improved to the utmost benefit they are capable of. ‘Tis not easie to express what great advantage might be obtained if men would but study to make the right use of mutual converse. We may see daily, especially by late experience, how men of common and low breeding, being called out to such imployments, wherein they have been necessitated to put forth themselves in a more than ordinary way of conversing together and debating of businesses with one another, how strangely their parts are heightned, how judicious and nimble they grow at business, how ready at discourse; whereas a Bookish man, that spends the greatest part of his time in reading and study, commonly he doth not know more, or if he should, yet is he less fit for those actions and businesses to which his knowledge should be applyed. And therefore the great and active men of the world have still looked upon knowledge thus acquired as Pedantry, which rendred a man unfit for any great imployment. And this is one reason of those prejudices which by some men have been lately taken up against these Places of learning; because they see some others that have been bred up in another way to be as knowing and as useful men, as those that come from hence; though such perhaps, besides the eminency of their natural abilities, have had some other special advantages in their educations, some way aquivalent to what is to be had in these Places, which ought to be considered and allowed for; yet it cannot be denied, but that we our selves may give too much occasion to such prejudices, by not improving all the helps we have to the best purposes.

I cannot stand to mention how much men might by this means promote their knowledge in the whole Circle of humane learning; particularly in that ability of a ready, voluble, popular Rhetorick (wherein studious and retired men are commonly defective) though it be so necessary in all kind of imployments, especially for the gifts of Prayer and Preaching.

But chiefly in matter of practical Religion, which would be much advantaged if men were but more free towards one another in communicating their doubts, temptations, comforts; warming their affections and building up one another by mutual conference.

2. That we of this Place would be very wary and careful both for our selves and those committed to our charge, in the right choice of our friends and company.

There is nothing usually hath a greater influence upon a mans temper and carriage than the company with whom he doth converse. And hence is it that if good and bad be joyned together in any near society, they either quickly part or become alike. And ‘tis the infirmity of our natures, that grace in the best men is so imperfect, and sin so powerful, that in the conjunction of good and evil, the good by a natural course are more easily corrupted than the evil rectified.

We all know that it hath been the bane of many young men sent hither for education to mistake in the first choice of their company: And ‘twere well if some publick brand could be set upon such loose flagitious persons, as make it their business to seduce and corrupt others. A Leper under the law was the type of a sinner; and he was to go with his head uncovered that others might know and avoid him. These close and covered sinners are very dangerous, and may do much hurt by their infection; there is scarce any such to be conversed with, Qui non aliquod nobis vitium, aut commendat, aut imprimit, aut nescientibus allinit.

‘Tis true, a man may make good use of the worst company, by observing the deformity and hating the evil of them the more; but yet there is this danger in the frequent converse with such, that the edge of our zeal and hate should be somewhat abated by custom. He that with Lot vexeth his soul with the wicked conversation of those amongst whom he lives, may in time be less and less vexed according as they grow more familiar to him. Besides, conversing with such will be a means to make a man satisfie himself with any low or weak degrees of goodness (which perhaps in comparison to his company may be considerable;) whereas amongst those that are better, we have still new matter of imitation and provocation. ‘Tis a good rule of a heathen, Cum his conversare, qui te meliorem facturi sunt; illos admitte,¹¹ quos tu potes facere meliores. Chuse those for your intimates, by whom you may be made better your selves, admit such; of whom you have any probable hopes that they may be made better by you.

Nothing is more incongruous and unsuitable than for a man that pretends love to religion, to delight in those that care not for it. Such persons are of opposite relations and principles. Every good man is on the Lords side,¹² the friend of God, and consequently is bound to hate that which is evil.¹³ Wicked men are his enemies,¹⁴ the Sons of Belial, of their Father the Devil: Good men are such as walk with God, and have their faces towards Sion.¹⁵ Wicked men walk contrary unto him, and turn their backs upon him; And therefore such are by no means fit to associate withall.

On the other side; Good men are all of a City, fellow Citizens with the Saints; all of a family,¹⁶ of the houshold of faith; all of a body,¹⁷ a body fitly joyned together and compact, by that which every joynt supplieth. God delights in them, tho he inhabit eternity, and dwells in that high and lofty place, yet he hath respect to those of humble and contrite spirits.¹⁸ They are styled his portion, his inheritance; a peculiar treasure unto him; the dearly beloved of his soul: he sets apart the man that is godly for himself. They that do not love such company here, have little reason to expect that they shall enjoy communion with them hereafter.

A man may examin the choice of his friends by this Rule: Suppose he were in some great exigence, wherein there were no help to be expected but from heaven, can he then with any confidence send to his usual companions to relieve him with their prayers? It may be he could heretofore freely discourse and jest with them, but are they fit to pray for him; If not, this may convince his conscience that he had made a bad choice.

3. That we would labour for those special qualifications and abilities which may render us acceptable and useful in our conversing with others.

There are four conditions, amongst many others, that are more especially suitable to this purpose.

1. A readiness to communicate, according to the gifts we have received, so ministring the same one to another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.¹⁹ There is much envy and narrowness of spirit in that close reserved humour which some men have; who confine all their gifts to themselves, as if they should lose their own knowledge by communicating of it. Such men live to themselves, as if they were not members of a body.

2. Humility. That’s a sociable grace, lovely in it self and acceptable to all: It fits a man both to learn and to teach; such an one will not contend, censure, disdain, but is kindly affectioned to others, esteeming better of them, than of himself.

3. Prudence, in distinguishing of mens tempers, prejudices, infirmities; in discerning of the right seasons and advantages to do good amongst them: Teaching a man such an amiable and alluring facility, whereby he may insinuate into the affections of others, and the more easily provoke them to love and good works.

4. Ingenuity, and Candor of disposition, in owning of our own weaknesses or faults, anothers gifts or preheminences. A sobriety and calmness of spirit, in suspending rash censures, bitter expressions, or whatever may exasperate; Forbearing one another in love. There is in some good men such a sower and riged severity, such a proness to censure, as makes them less acceptable and useful in their society, and deprives them of many opportunities of doing good to others.

I can but name these particulars; each of them would deserve to be more largely insisted upon, as being so very suitable and necessary for us of this place. But I speak to wise men, and am loath any further to trespass upon your patience: So then the substance of what been said is this, that society being so necessary to humane nature, and the advantage or prejudice so very great as to our well or ill being, according to our choice of such friends with whom we do most famillarly converse, Therefore will it concern men to be very cautious and wary in this matter.

And if they would render themselves useful and acceptable to others, it must be by being wise and virtuous and religious persons. Those only who are good in themselves being capable of doing good to others.

The End of the eighth Sermon.

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Footnotes

1. Sen. Benef. lib. 4. c. 18. ↩

2. Dan. 4.32. ↩

3. Luke 24.5 ↩

4. Matth. 23.27. ↩

5. Psal. 163. ↩

6. Psal. 133.1. ↩

7. Seneca de Tranq. c. 7. ↩

8. Psal. 119.136, 158. ↩

9. Micah 7.4. ↩

10. Sen. Ep 94 ↩

11. Sen. Ep. 7. ↩

12. Exod. 32.26. ↩

13. Ioh. 15.15 ↩

14. Psal. 97.10 ↩

15. 2 Cron. 19.6. ↩

16. Gal. 6.10. ↩

17. Ephes. 4.16. ↩

18. Deut. 32.9. Exod. 19.5 Ierem. 12.7. Psal. 4.3. ↩

19. 1 Pet. 4.10 ↩