FOrtune soon offer’d Eusebius a fair Opportunity to confirm this last part of his Reflection, for he had scarce made an end of it, when a large Fish, espying the Fly that kept my Hook swimming, rise swiftly at it, and having greedily chop’d it up, was hastily swimming away with it, when I struck him, and thereby stopt for a while his Progress; but finding himself both Arrested and Wounded, he struggl’d with so much violence, that at length he broke my slender Line, (that was fitted but for weaker Fishes) and carry’d away a part of it, together with the annexed Hook, and Bait. If Philosophers (says hereupon Eusebius) be not too liberal in allowing Brutes to think, we may well suppose that this Fish expected a great deal of Pleasure from the Bait he fell upon so greedily, and that when once he had got it into his Mouth, he might well look upon it as his own, and those other Fishes that saw him swallow it, and swim away with it, did probably envy his good Fortune; but yet indeed he does not enjoy his wish, though he seem to have the thing wish’d for within his power, for by the same action in which he suck’d in the Fly, he likewise took in the Hook, which does so wound and tear his tender Gills, and thereby put him into such restless pain, that no doubt he wishes that the Hook, Bait, and all, were out of his torn Jaws again, the one putting him to too much torture to let him at all rellish the other. Thus men, which do what they should not, to obtain any Object of their sensual Desires, whatever Pleasure they may before hand fancy to themselves in their success, are oftentimes, ev’n when they obtain then ends, disappointed of their expectations; sometimes Conscience, Reason, or Honour, making them, ev’n when their desires are not of the worst sort, do as David did, when he had, more vehemently than became a pious General, long’d for Water out of the Well at Bethlehem, and by the strange Venterousness of his bold and affectionate Officers obtain’d it, could not find in his heart to Drink it, but pour’d it untasted on the Ground. But when the things we so long for must be criminally obtain’d, then it not only often fares with them, as it did with Amnon, who immediately upon the incestuous fruition of his ravish’d Sister, hated her more than before he had lov’d her; but it sometimes happens to those that sin more heinously in this matter, as it did to Judas, who, after having betray’d a Master, that was incomparably more worth than all the World, and thereby for ever lost himself for a few pieces of Silver, seem’d to have it in his power, without having it in his will, to enjoy them, and in a desperate, but unseasonable, fit of anguish and remorse, did of his own accord disburthen himself of that Money, which he had sold his Conscience to get; so that though he had what he sought, he had not what he expected: And when what he coveted was in his possession, he had the guilt of acquiring it, without the power of enjoying it. And ev’n in cases far less heinous, (concludes Eusebius) when Men seem to have got what they aim’d at, and to have carry’d it away as their Booty, in spight of all opposition, the Wound thereby inflicted on injur’d Conscience, puts them to so much of deserved pain, that the wishes they are thus criminally possest of, they do not enjoy, but detest.
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