Schleiermacher to his Sister Charlotte.
[XCIX.] Potsdam, 23rd March, 1799.
The address of this letter, dear Lotte, will perhaps give you the first hint of the cause of my long silence, which must have been the more incomprehensible to you on account of the contents of your previous letter. But things are not so bad as you think, perhaps; I have only been here a few weeks on business, and shall probably be obliged to stay here a few months longer… . . Your second letter with enclosures I received not here, but in Berlin, whither I had gone for two days to celebrate Schlegel’s birthday. You have been quite right, dearest, to suppose, unconditionally and without further reflection, that the observations regarding my conduct which have been forced from you, could not be received by me otherwise than in a friendly spirit. I am very glad that you have been prevailed upon in regard to this matter, to set aside your usual system, which eschews all particulars. I thank you heartily for having done so, and pray that you will ever act in the same way towards me, when you have anything on your mind concerning me.
Permit me now to answer the principal objection, at least, sincerely and unreservedly, and according to conviction. First of all, you fear these tender and intimate relations with persons of the other sex, and herein you are right; for there is in reality a certain danger in them, and, viewed from afar, where only the general aspect of things can be discerned, the danger seems greater than it is. But I make it my business to watch myself narrowly and constantly; I account to myself for the smallest occurrence, and as long as I do this, I do not think I am called upon to break off connections which are otherwise essential and important to me, which contribute to the cultivation of my head and heart, and which enable me to effect much good. Thus, as regards B——, for instance, I know, that the very close friendship that existed between us, and which led her to speak to me openly on every subject, and about all her feelings, had a very good influence on her—I mean on her inner life, even independently of the opportunities which it afforded me of being of assistance to her in her outward life also, and in many difficult cases which arose, and in which she would perhaps otherwise have taken false steps. As regards Mrs. Herz, her life is calm and quiet, and runs no danger of shipwreck, like that of B——, and I have not, therefore, the same claims upon her gratitude; besides, her disposition and her character are much more firm and self-reliant, so that she needs not my support. Yet, in other respects, I am essential to her existence, for I can supplement her views and opinions, and even her character, in many ways, and she does the same for me. Passion can never arise between us, and indeed in regard to this we have long since stood the severest test. Do not think me conceited, because I speak of this with so much confidence; it is long experience and careful observation that enable me to do so, and I believe if you were to see us together for one hour only you would share my conviction. This tendency to attach myself more closely to women than to men, is deeply rooted in my nature; for there is so much in my soul that men seldom understand. Consequently, if I am not altogether to renounce true friendship, which you will hardly demand, I must remain in this otherwise so dangerous position, but which is less dangerous to me, because of the manner in which I occupy it. I will not, however, forget its perils, but always be upon my guard.
You are of opinion that these connections must also stand in the way of my professional duties, and that at least they must expose me to false appearances. As regards the first point, you must believe me upon my word alone, that it is not so. I perform all my duties very punctually and accurately; yet, as you may suppose, I would consider this of little value if I did not perform them with all my heart also, a fact which few of my friends, except Henrietta Herz, can quite understand. In regard to false appearances, I must tell you that I have peculiar notions: I think that because of my profession it is incumbent on me to disregard appearances. I do not mean that I would out of sheer bravado do things which others would not be likely to do, merely to show that I held the opinion of the world in contempt, but that, whenever there is sufficient reason, I ought to set appearances at defiance. This seems to me to be quite necessary and a real duty. That a man should be alone with a respectable woman for hours, and even half-days, is nothing very extraordinary in the world, and no one seeks any evil in it. To have a woman for a friend is, however, regarded with more severity, and that Mrs. Herz happens to be a Jewess is, no doubt, a stumbling-block to many; but this is a most pitiful prejudice.