Henriette von Willich to Schleiermacher.1
[CCC.] 5th August, 1808.
How is it that my heart is overflowing, and yet I can say nothing that you knew not full well already? Or would you like to hear it again and again, how unutterably I love you, how indescribably happy I am! Could I but once fully express how deep veneration, heartfelt gratitude, and childlike love are blended in the one sentiment, which now dwells in me, complete, and definite and pure—how I long to live entirely for you—what an insatiable desire I have to see you happy—a desire that makes me feel that I would gladly sacrifice myself for you, could that make you happy! O God! it often seems to me that I can hardly bear the blissful thought that it is to me that you will devote your life, your holy love. How grateful I feel to you, dearest, for the beautiful delicacy with which you gradually drew nearer to me—which did me so much good, and which awakened corresponding sentiments in me sooner than would have been the case had you at once revealed to me the fulness of your love and demanded mine in return, before I had found the way to link together my past and my present happiness.
Tell me, my beloved father, are you really pleased to see me give myself up so entirely to joy and happiness? When I think of our dear Ehrenfried, and a gentle breath of sorrow passes through my soul, I ask myself whether I ought not, perhaps, to bear otherwise the new mercy of God bestowed upon me through you? Whether it is right and proper that I should enter life again with such youthful freshness, and open my heart so entirely to joy, when not long ago I prayed that undying sorrow might follow the widow through life? Oh, I need not tell you how Ehrenfried lives in the depth of my soul—how sacred to me is every remembrance of him; you know it. Yet I am now so completely happy through you—as happy as I possibly can be.
With what pleasure I look forward to your first letter, I cannot describe to you, my dear, dear Ernst. Ah! am I still so dear to you as when you were here—when you called me your sweet heart? I never now for a moment doubt your love; but I do ask myself sometimes, Will he then really wish to share with me all that is dearest and most sacred to him? But herein also you shall ever follow your own bent, only remembering that you will be conferring indescribable happiness on me whenever you impart to me any of your treasures. However, you may be assured that I shall never, even through the faintest betrayal of sensitiveness, restrain you in regard to what you may wish to be to, or to share with, your friends of either sex. Not to be able to understand, will always pain me; but I will not allow a shadow of ill-humour to arise in me in consequence, and I will wait patiently till you turn again to your simple little wife. My dearly beloved Ernst, farewell! Do write me soon a few affectionate words, and tell me also if there be anything in me that you do not approve of, if it be ever so trifling a matter, I implore you.
You dear, excellent soul, may you be truly happy, and pray you also for me, that God will pour his blessings into my heart, and make it rich in love and piety, and in all gifts, without which I cannot make you happy.
Schleiermacher to Henriette von Willich.
[CCCI.] Berlin, 7th August, 1808.
Dear, only beloved Jette, in Prenzlau I could not find a moment to write to you, and I was not sufficiently anxious to force one into my service. What gratification could a few lines have given you, which could only have told you that we had got so far safely? We have been back here since five o’clock on Friday evening, and although I have not as yet done any work, I hope to commence with a thorough good-will to-morrow, or, at the latest, the day after. Be not surprised, dear heart, that I commence with this; it is the most important in regard to my well-being here, which can only be secured by a great deal of work. Trinity Church was one of the first objects which I could clearly distinguish, and thus I had at once before my eyes the consolatory and delightful object for the attainment of which I must first of all strive.
Thanks be to God, who has given thee to me, and has bestowed upon me the hope of the blessed life which we will prepare for each other, and the delicious repose which upholds and encircles our union, and the firm consciousness that that which has developed itself so purely and so equably in us, is the loveliest and the best He could bestow. Accept a tender and grateful embrace, my sweet beloved bride, and be entirely mine, and hope for a blessed fulfilment of our wishes, without fear of anything, for all will be well at last.
To my dear sister Lotte, I wrote a few words yesterday, to announce my happiness. If your heart approves, then send me soon a few affectionate lines for her; it will give her so much pleasure to hear from you.
During the short period since my return, I have already met with much affection and confidence in various new and important quarters, and have also seen significant portents of what I predicted, viz., that great convulsions would soon take place in Germany, and I feel now even an increase of that pleasurable emotion which I told you it caused me to think that our fate is intimately interwoven with that of our country. Should it happen—which I do not, indeed, as yet foresee, but which may nevertheless come to pass—that I should be much mixed up with these commotions, then keep up your courage, and remember that fatherland, you, and the children, are my watchwords. But let us write very diligently to each other as long as it is feasible; so that when the time of privation comes, we may already have a nice little collection of tokens of remembrance from the first period of our union. You are, I trust, still as content in heart—as content, as happy, as full of trust—as I am. Jette, my heart’s beloved, I know it cannot be otherwise, because in you and in me it is the same, and has grown in the same way; but, nevertheless, do not give up repeating it to me, it is so delightful to hear. Think also frequently of all the sweet, happy moments which that blessed time bestowed upon us in such rich measure, and let us continue them as well as we can during our separation. Every word of endearment is a kiss; and at each outburst of your feelings, I hear the throbbings of your gentle, loving heart!
While at Stralsund, I visited Ehrenfried’s grave, and with undoubting confidence I held out my brotherly hand to him in the other world, in token of the new tie between us. His spirit is surely with us! Greet and kiss the children from me, for my heart clings to them. God bless and watch over you, my dear beloved child, and remember that I am ever with you in spirit.