Schleiermacher to his Wife.
[CCCXCVI.] Berlin, 18th August, 1816.
… . I have had two bad days, and suffered much, especially yesterday evening, when I had a severe attack on my way hither from town. It is to be hoped that F——‘s1 prophecy has thus been fulfilled; but I know with certainty that I have not neglected any one of her precautions.
I have given up the hope now of escaping all attacks during my travels; nevertheless, I shall enjoy the latter, and if I can only be thrown into the magnetic sleep when we return, I shall soon be better. Pray do not fancy me worse than I am; I am by no means broken down and miserable, only not quite as well as when at the best. Ehrenfried goes about wailing at the dull life without mother and sisters. As for myself, dear heart, I do not say much about it, but I feel it the more, and I become more and more conscious of what a lively influence you and the children exercise over me. It is fortunate that I have got through my ethics, for at present I should not be able to do anything. Our outward life, also, is rather dull. I have been obliged each day to work during tea-time, and it has, therefore, passed off in perfect silence. Yesterday the Savignys went out to the garden-house, but did not stay to tea, and were gone before I arrived, and these are the only evening visitors we have had. I give my hearty regards to all. I must go off now to a meeting of the faculty; when that is over, I shall work quietly at my sermon, and then probably dine at Bergs.
[CCCXCVII.] Saturday Evening, 24th August.
At last, dearest heart, a letter from you has arrived. I received it yesterday afternoon. The time seemed very long to me while waiting for it. Thanks be to God that it contains nothing but good accounts of you and the children. Ah! and even that you are a little anxious about me, does my heart good. Yesterday I was thinking a great deal of that day three years ago. It was a noble time, with all its anxieties. Nevertheless, I am not sorry that it is over, and that I am able in undisturbed activity and calm affection to gather strength for the new times that are to come, if, indeed, I should live to see them. I feel deeply convinced, dearest, that we shall be able to bear anything with each other, and that you will come forth more nobly from every new trial… . . Sleep well, dear heart; I must go to bed, or you will chide me, for it is eleven o’clock. From a true heart I commend you to God, and pray for his blessing upon you, my only consolation, for whom I thank Him daily, when you are with me and when you are absent. Kiss all the little people for me.
[CCCXCVIII.] Tuesday, 27th, Evening.
I was delighted, dear heart, that your second letter also arrived on one of my good days, when I could thoroughly enjoy it… . . F—— has prescribed a number of rules for me, and seems upon the whole to be without any anxiety about my journey, although she said once, with some appearance of alarm, “If they could but wait until Friday!” The worst of it is with this kind of prophets, that they are so apt to mislead you. However, it is not in my character to allow myself to be detained by anything of the kind, for she said nothing distinctly, and it would entirely have upset our plan. Hitherto, indeed, everything seems very favourable. The weather has improved very much since yesterday, and as I shall be provided with numerous amulets, and still more rules and prescriptions, I trust everything will go on well. To-day I have retired from the rectorship, having employed the last hours of it in a kind of examination. The sermons have been placed in safety, but all the other papers remain in the greatest confusion, and Plato has not been finished. But never mind, my trunk is packed, and to-morrow morning at five we start. I am going to meet you, it is true, dearest heart, and yet it seems to me that my temporary widowerhood is only now beginning, as hereafter I shall have very little chance of hearing from you. Ah, write away as rapidly as you can, those letters are always the best. Why should my enjoyment in reading them be spoilt by the thought that they had cost you trouble? From eight o’clock until noon I have been sitting still writing, while Nanni has been running about packing. Thank God that I can feel so easy about you and the children. Kiss the dear mites for me, and greet all friends heartily. I am longing very much once more to mix in their life; but you do not say a word to make me think that they care to see me. Adieu. A thousand kisses.