ANother thing, Sophronia, which my present state suggested to me, was, a Reflection on the great mistake of those that think a Death-Bed the fittest and opportunest place to begin Repentance in: But sure these Men are very little acquainted, either with the disadvantages of a dangerous Sickness, or the nature of Repentance. ‘Tis true, that Sin and Death do more easily frighten one, when they are look’d on as both together: But I much doubt whether the being frighted by Hell, be sufficient to give a Man a well-grounded hope of Heaven: For when we see Sin and Torment at one view, and so near one to another, ‘tis not so easie to be sure which of the two it is that, as we presume, scares the Sinner towards Heaven. And surely Repentance, which ought to be the change of the whole Man, and in some sense the work of the whole Life, is very improperly begun, when Men have finished that course, which it should have guided them in: Nor have Men cause to presume, that when God is severely punishing them for their Sins, he will vouchsafe them so great a Grace as that of Repentance, which they would none of, till it could not make them serviceable to him. And as for the oppornity ‘tis hop’d an expiring State may give Men for Repentance, they must needs be great Strangers to great Sicknesses, that can promise themselves so unlikely a matter: VVho can secure them, that the Acuteness of the Disease will not invade the Brain? and as Deliriums and Phrensies are not unfrequent in Feavers, and other acute Diseases, so in case they happen to persevere, the VVretch’d patient is cast into a desperate condition, ev’n on this side the Grave, and as near as the Body is to its Dissolution, the Man may be Dead a pretty while before it.
But supposing he escape these Accidents, which make Repentance impossible, a dangerous Sickness has other Circumstances enough to make it very uneasie: For the Organical faculties of the Mind cannot but be dull’d and prejudic’d by the Discomposure of the Spirits, by which their Functions are to be exercis’d; and the sense of Pain, the troublesome prescriptions of Physitians, the loathsome and bitter Potions, the weakning Operation of Physick, the Languishments produced by want of Spirits, the Restlessness proceeding from Heat and want of Sleep, the distracting Importunity of those interested Persons, especially if any of them be suspected to hover about the Dying Man’s Bed, as Birds of Prey that wait for a Carcass, the Sighs and Tears of Friends and Relations that come to take their last Farewell, and to Imbitter it, The Lawyer that must be directed to draw up the VVill, the Divine that must be allowed to say something concerning the Soul, and the affrighted Conscience, that alone brings more disquiet than all the rest put together, do make a Dying Man’s condition so Amazing, so Dismal, and so Distracting, that to think this an Opportune time to begin such a work, (which may well enough imploy the whole Man in his calmest state of mind) is a Madness as great as any, that ev’n a Death-Bed can, by the translation of the Humours into the Brain, occasion: For my part, I think it so wild, and so unadvisable a thing to put off the beginning to provide all Graces to a Death-Bed, that I think it uneasie enough so much as to exercise then those that were acquir’d before; Men being in that state commonly unable so much as to Reap the consolation they have been Sowing all along a pious Life.
And this (Sophronia) brings into my mind a consideration, which being taken from the very nature of a Death-Bed Repentance, should me-thinks very much deterr Men from resolving before hand to rely on it; And it is this, That granting those (Socians, and others) to be mistaken, that think so late a Repentance to come too late to be available; yet the Dying Sinner, though he may be kept from dispair of passing to Heaven, can scarce in an ordinary way have a comfortable assurance of getting thither! For though it be said, That a true Repentance cannot come too late, yet it is a hard thing to be certain, that so late a Repentance is true. Since Repentance confessedly importeth an abandoning and renouncing of Sin, at least in Hearty purpose and resolution; ‘tis very difficult for an habitual Sinner, that remembers what vows and purposes of change of Life, Sicknesses or Dangers have formerly induc’d him to make, which were forgotten, or violated, when the apprehensions that occasion’d them were over; ‘tis hard I say for such a One to be sure, that his present Repentance is not of the same ignoble and uncurrent kind, since he has no Experience to satisfie him that it would be ordinarily, though not constantly, prevalent over the opposite Temptations; and since also (which is mainly to be consider’d) ‘tis so easie for a Man to mistake for the true hatred of Sin, and the love of God, a horrour of Sin springing from the present painfull sense of the Mischief procur’d by it, together with the great fear of the approaching Torments that it threatens, and a strong desire of going to Heaven, when seeing himself unable to stay any longer on Earth, he must get thither to escape Hell. And as it is thus difficult, when a Man already feels much Punishment for Sin, and sees himself in danger of more, to discern clearly upon what account it is, that he is sorry for what he has committed; so it must be certainly a state unspeakably anxious and uncomfortable to find ones self dragg’d to the Grave, without knowing whether the last Trumpet shall call him thence to Heaven, or to Hell: And if he should be deceiv’d in judging of the Validity of his Repentance, the fatal errour would be remediless, and the mistake far sadder and more horrid than that of the Syrians, who, when they thought they were arriv’d Victorious at Dothan, found themselves at the mercy of their Enemies in Samaria, 2 Kings 6. 18. To conclude, (Sophronia) he that resolves not to renounce his Sins, till he thinks Christ ready to renounce him for them, may very probably lose his Soul, and has most certainly lost his Ingenuity; and that will appear a very sad loss for a Man, that being by Death denied the opportunities of actually leading a new and pious Life, must derive his comfort from the assurance that he sincerely intends it.
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