PROV. XXV.15.
The Book of the Proverbs is a Miscellany of Sentences full of various and profound wisdom; such ruling Sentences, משלי as are fit to have a special authority over a man in the guidance of his affairs. They concern all kind of matters, the customs, vices, humours of men, the various businesses and conditions of life. Quicquid agunt homines, votum, timor, ira, voluptas; Gaudia, discursus.
And because there is no greater evidence of wisdom (which is the thing here professed to be taught) than the due regulating of our words and speeches, therefore is there no other subject which the Wiseman doth more frequently insist upon than this. And ‘tis one of his Proverbs of this kind that I have now made choice to treat of.
Amongst the many other Rules and Qualifications to be observed in the government of our Words, that of mildness or meekness, both as to the matter and manner of them is one of the most considerable.
And there is a special elegance in the Text to this purpose; ‘tis one of those Proverbs that doth consist both of Similitudes and Antitheses or oppositions, every word in it is figurative and metaphorical. The reducing of them to their plain and natural significations will sufficiently unfold the meaning of them, and may serve for Explication.
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By Tongue we are to understand the speech or discourse, by a Metonymy of the cause for the effect.
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By the softness of it, is meant that kind of disposition which is answerable to tenderness and yieldingness amongst tactile qualities, when a thing doth not resist the touch, so as to be offensive to it, but doth rather gently yield and give place to it. ‘Tis styled elsewhere by the name of smoothness, and compared to butter and oyl, Psal. 55.21.
It may comprehend under it these four general Virtues.
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Meekness, πραότης, 1 Pet. 3.15. Be ready to answer every one with meekness and reverence; which is that virtue whereby we are to restrain the anger of our words.
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Gentleness, ἐπιείκεια, moderation, candor, Tit. 3.2. Speak evil of no man, be no brawlers but gentle; whereby we relax from the highest extremity of things, and do abate of saying the utmost we might.
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Courteousness or affability, φιλόφρονες, 1 Pet. 3.8. Be courteous, not rendring evil for evil, or reviling for reviling, &c. ὁ τὰ φίλα φρονῶν, qui sapit amica: When a man endeavours to speak things benign and grateful, in whom there is a facility or accommodateness for humane converse.
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Kindness, Prov. 31.26. the Law of Kindness is said to be in the tongue of a virtuous person. The original word is חסד which signifies properly benignity, mercifulness, benevolence. The saying or doing more in the behalf of others, than in strictness we are obliged unto.
These are the several Virtues comprehended under the metaphor of a soft tongue.
The Opposites to it are described in Scripture by these other expressions,
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Hardness, in opposition to softness, 1 King. 12.13. ‘tis said that Rehoboam answered the people hardly, as ‘tis properly rendered in the Margent, in the Original קשה in the Septuagint σκληρός, the same Greek word that in the 15th verse by St. Iude is translated hard speeches; it denotes properly things that are harsh, stiff, rigorous; ‘tis the same Hebrew word with that which is rendered churlishness, 1 Sam. 25.3. Nabal is there said to be an evil & churlish person, a difficult intractable man, such as no art or industry could make pliable, or manage to any good purpose, as may be easily guessed by the manner of that answer which he returned to Davids messengers.
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Roughness in opposition to smoothness, Prov. 18.23. The poor useth intreaties, but the rich answereth roughly. צנוה fortia, robusta, sava, boisterousness, imperiousness, that which is opposite to the meekness of obsecrations and intreaties.
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Sharpness, under the comparison of swords and arrows, and stings, and razors, that which is apt to pierce and wound men, instead of that opposite quality of Healing, which there should be in a virtuous tongue.
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Bitterness, we read, Ps. 64.3. of bitter words; and cursing is styled bitterness, Iam. 3.10, 11. and Rom. 3.11. they are both put together as being synonymous, whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness. Amongst other kinds of evil speaking, the Apostle reckons bitterness and wrath, and anger, which are prohibited, Ephes. 4.31. ‘tis styled by this name, because it hath such a kind of effect upon the mind of others as this quality of bitterness hath upon the palate to constringe and nauseate it. For the ear tasteth words as the mouth tasteth meats.
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Clamor, κραυγή, noise, loudness; which is likewise forbidden in that forecited place, Ephes. 4.31. because ‘tis usually an indication of some such eager passions as do not become a sober and prudent man, and are not suitable to the spirit of Christianity.
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Brawling, Tit. 3.2. to speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, […]; it signifies a verbal pugnacity, an aptness to wrangle and contend in words, to smite with the tongue.